Life's Purpose

You can find your life's purpose in your values

We all need a reason for living and the stronger the reason, the more motivation we have. You can think of your life's purpose as something you do, such as being a good parent, or good husband/wife. Or, you can think of your purpose in terms of achievement such as being successful or helping others. I found that a better way to distinguish my purpose from my achievements, which can be ego driven, is to focus on my values. I demonstrate my purpose every day through my actions in the way I treat people and the way I react to life's challenges. Who you choose to be is the code of honour that you live by.

Unfortunately most people have never really thought about their values in depth, they usually have a vague idea but not enough to give them a clear sense of purpose. Knowing and living according to your values has a number of benefits. Firstly by making a commitment to demonstrate your values on a daily basis you have a very clear code of ethics and standards to live by, this makes it easier to respond positively to the ups and downs of daily living. Secondly, by choosing to act on these values you break the pattern of reacting, and this is how you change old beliefs and create new beliefs about yourself. And most importantly acting on these values makes you feel happier.

Let me give you an example of how this works. If a person cuts you off just as you are about to drive into a parking spot, think about how you want to act . If you reacted you might be tempted to make a rude gesture, give the other driver a black look, scream abuse or mutter to yourself ¾ you could even go so far as to let another person's actions spoil your day. Or, you can make a conscious choice to act like the person you choose to be. If, for instance you choose to be a kind person you might let the other person have your parking spot. You might even feel irritated for a short while, but you will feel good about yourself and the way you behaved therefore turning a potentially negative experience into something positive. Acting on your values is a form of self mastery.

When you react you give your power away. All you have to do is observe the world around you and you will see people reacting constantly, and it doesn't make them happy. When you consciously choose to act on your values you not only feel good about yourself, you reinforce your chosen beliefs. When you act consistently on your values your perception about what you can be, do and have changes, and the world in turn changes its perception of you.

When you give you also need to receive otherwise it's easy to burn out or become resentful and the easiest way to create a healthy balance between giving and receiving is to know and then live by your values. I break values up into two groups which I call being and having values. Your being values are the character traits of the ideal person you would like to be. I suggest to my clients that they choose three being values that they are willing to make a commitment to live by. An example of some being values are: kind, loving, generous, inspirational, peaceful, wise and even powerful. By acting on these values you give to others through your actions and you inspire others by being a positive role model. Mastering being these character traits becomes your life purpose.

Your having values are the feelings you need to create in order to be happy. These could be companionship, achievement, support, being valued or financial security. This is what you receive and value. You take responsibility for filling your own needs by taking steps to create these feelings and conditions in your life.

When you make a commitment to live by your being values it becomes easier to make conscious choices rather than reactionary ones. If your usual pattern is to talk about your problems, you could choose to think and act like a calm person. A calm person might go for a walk, meditate, or set a time limit before responding. If your usual pattern is to worry, you could choose to act like a responsible or wise person. In other words you would act like the person you choose to be ¾ this is the key to personal power.

When you choose to act on your values you not only feel good about yourself, you reinforce your chosen beliefs. Over time acting in this way changes how you perceive the world, and in turn the way other people perceive you.

Anne Hartley
http://www.hartlifecoaching.com.au

Change your thinking, change your life? By John C. Maxwell

Can changing your thinking really change your life? Consider this: I’ve studied successful people for forty years, and though the diversity you find among them is astounding, I believe they are all alike in one way: how they think! That is the one thing that separates the successful from the unsuccessful.
The good news is that it’s possible to learn how to think like a successful person. But before we can learn from a good thinker, we need to know what they look like. You often hear someone say that a colleague or friend is a “good thinker,” but that phrase means something different to everyone. To one person it may mean having a high IQ, while to another it could mean knowing a bunch of trivia or being able to figure out whodunit when reading a mystery novel.
I believe that good thinking isn’t just one thing. It consists of several specific thinking skills. Becoming a good thinker means developing those skills to the best of your ability. In Built to Last, Jim Collins and Jerry Porras describe what it means to be a visionary company, the kind of company that epitomizes the pinnacle of American business. They describe it this way:
A visionary company is like a great work of art. Think of Michelangelo’s scenes from Genesis on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or his statue of David. Think of a great and enduring novel like Huckleberry Finn or Crime and Punishment. Think of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony or Shakespeare’s Henry V. Think of a beautifully designed building, like the masterpieces of Frank Lloyd Wright or Ludwig Mies van der Rohe. You can’t point to any one single item that makes the whole thing work; it’s the entire work—all the pieces working together to create an overall effect—that leads to enduring greatness.
Good thinking is similar. You need all the thinking “pieces” to become the kind of person who can achieve great things. I believe that those pieces include eleven skills, which I’ve listed below. After each is a question you can ask yourself to measure your own thinking:
1. Cultivate Big-Picture Thinking
Am I thinking beyond myself and my world so that I process ideas with a holistic perspective?
2. Engage in Focused Thinking
Am I dedicated to removing distractions and mental clutter so that I can concentrate with clarity on the real issue?
3. Harness Creative Thinking
Am I working to break out of my “box,” exploring ideas and options, so I can experience creative breakthrough?
4. Employ Realistic Thinking
Am I building a solid foundation on facts so that I can think with certainty?
5. Utilize Strategic Thinking
Am I implementing strategic plans that give me direction for today and increase my potential for tomorrow?
6. Explore Possibility Thinking
Am I unleashing the enthusiasm of possibility thinking to find solutions for even seemingly impossible problems?
7. Learn from Reflective Thinking
Am I regularly revisiting the past to gain a true perspective and think with understanding?
8. Question Popular Thinking
Am I consciously rejecting the limitations of common thinking in order to accomplish uncommon results?
9. Benefit from Shared Thinking
Am I consistently searching the minds of others to think “over my head” and achieve compounding results?
10. Practice Unselfish Thinking
Am I continually considering others and their journey in order to think with maximum collaboration?
11. Rely on Bottom-Line Thinking
Do I stay focused on the bottom line so that I can gain the maximum return and reap the full potential of my thinking?
Based on your answers to the questions, where are you strongest? In what kind of thinking do you need to grow? Develop in any of those areas, and you’ll become a better thinker. Master all that you can—especially the process of shared thinking, which helps you compensate for your weak areas—and your life will change.
For specific guidance on developing as a good thinker, my book, How Successful People Think, devotes a chapter to each of the above skills. A companion workbook is also in the works.